The post was originally published in Polish on Szymon’s LinkedIn profile. Szymon kindly agreed to republish what we think is of great value to our readers.
Got a promotion? You must have “sucked up” to someone.
Do you earn more? “Dumb luck, or you must have had connections.”
Are you opening a business? “In two years, it will go bankrupt anyway.”
Sounds familiar? Unfortunately, in Poland we have a problem with success. Many people, instead of being happy for others, using it as an inspiration, try their best to diminish it and paint it negatively.
Szymon Janiak, Co-Founder and Managing Partner at Czysta3.VC
One begins to wonder: “Is there something wrong with me?” But that’s not the problem. Such a reaction occurs not because you did something wrong. But merely because your progress confronts others with what they haven’t achieved themselves. One’s success exposes another one’s excuses.
It’s easier to say that someone was “lucky” than to accept that they were just more consistent. Because if someone who started from a similar place achieved something more, it can mean one thing–so could others, but they didn’t.
Have you noticed that no one criticizes those who stand still?
As long as you don’t stand out from the crowd, you “belong”. But if you start doing more, earning more, thinking differently–you become a problem.
And then you have two options:
- Fit in: Stop even talking about successes, do less to make others feel more comfortable.
- Do your own thing: Realize that it’s their frustration, not your problem. And let the results speak for you.
I choose the second option.
Here’s what the comment section chooses:
I treat it with sympathy and some sort of compassion. On the other hand, it’s a bit like a tribute – someone who has no influence on your life analyzes it. A good old saying: “If someone is talking about you behind your back, it means that you are in front of them and this back is the only thing they can see.”
– Maciej Sochoń, Product Owner, Business Development Manager at FINTEQ
There’s an opinion that we all sit in a swamp all the way up to our noses, so when you start moving, then it floods the others’ noses and they defend their status quo instead of trying to get out together with you.
– Piotr Pacewicz, Product Manager at Comarch
Option 2 at all times. If someone belittles me, e.g. saying that I have such a lot of experience and competence (as if it were an accusation), I know that they have a problem with themselves – usually these are complexes. It’s interesting that sometimes these are non-verbal signals that I read very well, such as a cold greeting. It happens very rarely to me, but it does happen to receive such a “gift” – then I am sure that such a person has watched what I am doing before the meeting, e.g. on my wall on the linked in and is simply afraid of talking to me.
Over the years, I have observed two types of reactions: either someone is interested and looks forward to the meeting/conversation because they see potentially something good in it, synergy and even before the meeting they talk about seeing an experience, reading something I published or hearing something good about me, or someone triggers passive aggression that results from complexes and fear. I try to find empathy in myself then. It makes me want to ask: how can I help you?
Overall, I do my own thing. They want to comment, let them comment. I have no influence on it. And I’m not tomato soup. Not everyone has to like me, just as I don’t like all 🙂
– Agnieszka Bojanowska, Owner and Managing Director at LIT PR
Szymon Janiak is an investor and a business-driven Managing Director at czysta3.vc, a Venture Capital fund located in Poland. He has over 10 years of experience in the technology sector. Szymon is also a Member of the Supervisory Board at stockbroker Grupa Trinity S.A.
